Rat Tail Ale
by Shade
(chant 4x)
Rats drink from thimbles
Cats drink from cups
Men drink from kegs
but then they throw up
chorus--
Rat tail Ale and Rat Tail Beer
Served no other place but here
Rat Tail Ale that glorious brew
Made by rats who drink it too
Down near the docks where it's dark and damp
There's a little bar 'neath a little lamp
You can search near and you can search far
but there's no place like the Cheese and Star.
(chorus)
The bar is a plank on an old sea chest
there's rickety stools for the bigger guests
There's tiny tables and tiny chairs
and even tiny little stairs
(chorus)
A one-eyed rat's behind the bar
And on his patch he's painted a star.
He fears neither cat nor man
cause he can drink more than either one can.
(chorus)
The place is full of men and rats
and even desperate drunken cats
the little bar mice scurry fast
collecting empties as they pass
(chorus)
No one knows just how it's made
and one-eyed Patch will never say
but take my word for this one's true
there is no finer, richer brew.
(chorus)
All delights and pleasures pale
Beside the joys of Rat Tail Ale
Rat Tail Beer, Rat Tail Ale too
Made for rats like me and you.
(chorus)
ODE TO A PRACTICE DUMMY
Oh I love you dummy dummy
You are my weapons practice honey
I can whip you, I can beat you
and I never have to meet you!
You would make a perfect lover
I would never need another
And though' I'd have to keep you
I would never have to feed you!
Quintus's Bachelor Party
by Shade
Mighty Quint would Ara wed
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry
He the heart and she the head
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
chorus:
Hey ho Quint is gonna marry
Hey ho Quint is gonna marry
Hey ho Quint is gonna marry
All his friends had better hide!
Mercurio arranged the feast
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
In his inn with scurrying beasts
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Rotgut mixed a special brew
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Made it strong and chalky too!
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Zent and Dytan presented the head
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Of a Cineran who was dead
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Myrd sipped wine while Shade sipped mead
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
The other guests got drunk at speed
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Shade sang along while Eva swayed
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Then Eva threw her clothes away
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Eva pranced and Eva danced
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Caused a reaction in Quint's pants
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
A passing boatman joined the throng
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
He drank, then he spoke Ara wrong
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
A bar brawl soon was underway
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
The boatman left by the window way
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Quint passed out from too much brew
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
A wicked thought possessed the crew
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
They took his boots, they took his sack
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
They stole his clothes right off his back
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
They dragged him down the tavern stairs
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Quint snored on without a care
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
A raft floats on the Salinae
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
With Quint on view to passers-by
Hey ho! Quint is gonna marry.
Repeat chorus many times
Hide from Quint
If sung solo, teach chant at beginning, and chant several times before
singing chorus at the end. If sung ensemble, chant as continuo against the verses
(repeat chorus and or chant until too drunk)