Arkham Crier

[SPXios]

Edward's Hall Fire
In a bit of psychic news reporting, we at the crier wish to warn all students that Edward's Hall will catch fire at some point in the next two weeks. After the blaze has been put out, the source will be tracked back to the Glee Club's clubroom. The club recently received a large crate marked flammable and is believed to be the source of the soon-to-be fire.

In related news, we are looking for new photographers. Anyone with pictures of the fire will be given preferential treatment. Similarly, pictures of the hall before it burnt to the ground will be accepted.

Large Tracks of Land Inherited
The buzz around the drinking places is all about the new Swedish transfer student. Various gambling dens have begun to set odds on how long before someone can get her into a drinking establishment and how drunk she will get. Current odds favor the recently returned Phineas Lee.

Two for the Price of One
This week, Larkin's institute is offering a special deal. Two for the price of one on all schizophrenia.

Dante's on Fire
The hip place to gather this week seems to be the Italian restaurant. Many faces were seen there and much gossip was overheard. What exactly, we aren't telling. Get your booty down there and find out. It sounds like changes are in the works and the restaurant owner, Dante, is busy making connections.

This week's Arkham Crier is brought to you by Larkin's Institute. Mention this issue of the Crier at the desk and they will give you a nice white jacket. Plenty of arm room.