I have never submitted a prayer request like this.
As all of you know, my marriage has been going through a lot of turmoil. Through affairs, lies, and outright abandonment when my husband left me and my children. We moved to my mother's house and tried to make it. It didn't work. We are now penniless here on Oahu. I have been trying to pick up the pieces.
Today I received a shock. After speaking and keeping my husband up to date on the divorce he wanted, I filed Monday. He knew this. I told him the previous Friday. He knew I was going through the entire process. He was given the numbers and addresses of everyone that I was dealing with.
He waited until Monday, the day he knew I was filing, to file a divorce simultaneously out of state, and I was served the papers today. Since I have no legal representation here, the judges have to review my request before I can even get a case number. Therefore his submission went through first.
I do not know what to do.
I cannot afford to go to Texas and contest the divorce. I cannot afford a lawyer. I am having difficultly finding a job. My parent's house is at risk. I have been living off the gracious systems placed by our government to put food in the mouths of my children. I don't know what to do anymore.
He has done this viciously and vindictively because in his own words he wants to control it. That I was taking too long for his tastes. The time spent preparing these documents, tears, hours I could have been finding employment or spending with my children are lost forever.
The reality of it was he was waiting until I filed to file simultaneously to make the process more difficult. There is no way coincidentally he, after having spoken with me, went into a lawyers office with all the paperwork he needed by -chance- just happened to file the exact same day when we had previously discussed the arrangements. He is doing this because it is underhanded and wants me to 'lose'. But this is not a win or loss situation. This is my life. Most importantly the lives of my children.
When asked why he filed when he knew I was filing the same day. He told me 'I didn't have to tell you anything you can talk to my lawyer.' It was to show me what took me weeks to accomplish he could do in a 'day'. (Well actually an entire law firm could do) and furthermore he wanted to 'control the situation'. To make me suffer. To prove I was incompetent. Further he is demanding I pay, when it is settled, for his legal representation.
He lied on the documents (Texas is a 'fault' state in divorce) that the marriage was ended due to personality conflicts, and that he tried to reconcile the marriage. In actuality, he did not try. He was here 13 days when he visited, and received LOVE LETTERS at my house from his mistress.
This does not even touch his outlandish demands on the children to visit him every other holiday (including father's day, his birthday, their birthdays) which puts them flying to Texas around six times a year. He wants my four year old Ryan to fly -alone- on an airplane for eight hours, and me to pay the costs. Everything is about money to him. I was shocked. I told him Ryan could not fly alone for eight hours, two lay overs. He said I could hire a flight attendant to watch him if I was uncomfortable.
I am so angry, so hurt, and so lost. I don't know what to do, where to turn, who to talk to, where to go. I am trying to put my faith in God, but I feel so hopeless and lost. My two boys are affected the worst. Please. Please help me. Pray for my family.