Despite the fantasy aspect of role-play, it’s practically impossible to depart entirely from real life issues and topics without demolishing the suspension of disbelief in a scene. Particularly in a setting that mimics the real world, we are likely to encounter situations in RP that we could feasibly encounter in life, and even in a high fantasy setting, we relate to our characters, and we experience, albeit vicariously, the things they do.

This is usually a good thing, I think. The common threads between our own lives and those of our characters give us ways to relate to them. The ability to grasp something tangible to yourself in a game setting makes that setting seem more real – more playable. It’s easier to suspend disbelief and get into the role-play if your character is experiencing things that have some personal meaning to you.

There are some topics, however, that must be handled with care because they cut too close to the quick, so to speak. Topics that are intense and emotional in real life can make for some of the best RP there is to be had when introduced into a scene. However, if they aren’t given an appropriate measure of respect, those elements can ruin a scene by being tedious, just plain ludicrous, or unfortunately traumatizing.

Communication and mutual respect are critical when introducing touchy subjects into RP. It may not seem like a big deal, and there are those who say that it’s just a game. True, MU* is just a game, a hobby. So is collecting and operating model trains. If you didn’t respect a train hobbyist’s equipment, and if you broke it carelessly, I imagine he or she wouldn’t be too pleased. It’s just a hobby – but it’s a hobby in which someone has invested time and personal energy. MU* is no different, and even though it’s just a game, it is a game in which the players have a personal investment, and if that isn’t honored, players can get justifiably upset.

The Obligatory Anecdote

In discussing various pet peeves in gaming, this topic was touched upon by a player who expressed his irritation with people taking everything in RP so seriously. He then went on to relate a story about how his character had tossed another character’s baby out a window, and how that other character’s player became upset OOC. His defense was that the ‘baby’ was just a puppet, and no one really got hurt. Technically, this is true. When you break MU* down to its basic components, it’s all pretty much just ones and zeros. However, to varying degrees, we all get attached to the way those ones and zeroes align themselves in the telling of our stories and the exploring of our fantasies.

So why did the player get upset? I don’t know. I wasn’t the player involved. However, I can explain why I would get upset if put in the same situation. To begin with, someone walking in and throwing a baby out the window for no readily apparent reason, other than being a bad guy who does bad things, kills my suspension of disbelief. It’s just so over the top I can’t wrap my mind around it in a context that would make sense in any story. Even if I could somehow imagine this actually happening IC in some sensible fashion, it dramatically alters my character.

Anyone who has lived through the loss of a child due to senseless violence can tell you that they are never the same afterwards. If I’m to remain even remotely true to my character, then my character would have to cease being the person I’ve become so interested in playing. My character would become the surviving parent of a murdered child, and that changes everything. That might not be something I care to RP through, so if someone was going to do that, I would like them to have a better reason than ‘I’m a bad guy who does bad things’ because, frankly, that’s not good enough to merit railroading my RP and forcing me into a situation that will change my character’s life forever.

It Happens In Real Life

One reason I’ve encountered quite a bit for why it’s okay to completely damage someone’s character beyond playability is because if it happens in real life, it should be able to happen in a game, particularly if the game is one that explores dark themes. That’s well and good, except that many of us come to MU* to play out things that don’t happen in real life. When I log into a game that explores dark and horrific themes, I’m looking for something out of Lovecraft, not a reenactment of Columbine. Just because mass murder happens doesn’t mean I want to explore it in my RP, at least not frivolously, because it’s a big deal. That goes for a lot of vile things that are a sad part of the human condition.

Mind you, I’m not saying I think the dark things that happen in real life should never cross paths with RP. In fact, I am saying exactly the opposite. I love realism. I love exploring those intense emotional things that happen to us as people, and seeing how they affect my characters. It is because I’m so fond of these things that I’m so insistent on making sure they’re handled properly, with dignity and respect.

I also think these things, should they be explored in RP, be handled with purpose as well. There is a world of difference between a character’s actions leading to a situation where he or she might be killed, and a character simply getting gunned down IC by some random psychopath while wandering the grid. In the former situation, the player is able to make choices, and he or she is telling a story with that character. In the latter situation, there are no choices to be made. There is simply having a character, and then a minute later, not having a character. While it’s true that being in the wrong place at the wrong time can get one killed in real life, when translating that into a game environment, it makes for a pretty lame story.

Pay Attention To Me

Then there is the other side of the coin – where one doesn’t have horrible things happen to one’s character outside one’s control but by one’s design. What I mean by that is when a player has something horrible happen to his or her character, either by arranging it with another player, or letting it happen ‘off screen’ and then bringing the results IC. This is something that can be done well and add a lot to a character and to RP, but it’s also something that can be taken to the extreme as a device for getting attention, and if not handled carefully, can backfire and have unpleasant results.

One topic that comes up a lot in this regard is sexual assault. It is a touchy topic, and there are people who will not play through anything dealing with it, and I can’t say I blame them. Some people have lived through this in real life, and they simply do not want to deal with it in RP. The biggest complaint I’ve heard about the topic, however, is how it’s handled – not that it was done at all, but rather how it was done, and for what reasons.

See, it’s a heavy topic, and there are players who take it quite seriously. When it’s used glibly as a means for a player to RP melodrama and garner lots of attention from other PCs, it makes a mockery of a very intense subject. I don’t think assault themes should be entered into lightly. There is a reason they are so dramatic, and they tend to change a person’s life in ways he or she could never choose. There are other ways to get attention, and I would encourage any player to reconsider before using this one.

Another topic that gets its share of ‘screen time’ in the ‘pay attention to me’ arena is suicide or suicidal tendencies. As with assault themes, it’s a serious topic, and it has touched many real lives in devastating ways. That doesn’t mean it can’t be handled successfully in RP, but one has to approach it carefully. Realize that it has a long lasting effect on the survivors, and that while any character death is going to change the lives of the characters surviving after, with suicide there is a whole other level of emotional fallout. Before inflicting that on a group of players who may not want to RP it out, consider other options if you’re looking to get rid of your character, or are seeking ways to get attention in RP.

Communication and Respect

Bad things can and do happen in RP, and I am one of those players who believes that conflict is critical in the telling of a compelling story. I would never advocate the abolition of all conflict to ensure that nobody’s toes get stepped on, but in a cooperative storytelling environment, there are certain issues that should be approached maturely.

Have IC reasons for your character doing something – don’t just commit some act of violence because you’re bored OOC and your character is a villain. Even villains have some code of ethics or, barring that, a grain of common sense; okay, that isn’t always true, but the reckless ones tend to get caught. Keep in mind that just because something happens in RL, and even if it fits within the theme of a game, that it isn’t necessarily good RP fodder, nor does it tell a good story. Finally, if you’re trying to get attention, try not force other people’s hands, and particularly not in ways that touch upon subjects which have long-lasting and devastating effects on the people experiencing them.

That is what I would consider respect. For communication, if you would like to explore an intense topic that might affect someone because of real life circumstances, be careful with whom you choose to RP. There are topics I’ll gladly explore with certain players that I would never even bring up with others, and it’s a matter of trust and familiarity, of understanding and respecting boundaries. If you’re not sure, ask. Talk about it. I’m not talking about day to day bar RP where the topic might get mentioned, but if you’re going to explore these situations in depth, it’s a good idea to get a feel for how your regular group of players are going to respond – particularly if your character has developed some kind of relationship with theirs, and it isn’t feasible for them to simply find IC reasons to back off and not have anything to do with it.

Real life situations in RP are, overall, a matter of taste. Some people find them terribly intriguing. Others would rather have nothing to do with them. They can add depth to a character, making him or her come alive for the player, and this can help tell a good story and make for incredible RP. However, those intense situations that can bring so much fulfillment to the hobby can also trigger negative RL reactions or change characters and storylines in ways that make them no longer worthwhile. It’s a tricky balancing act, and one that should be handled with care.

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