This article has a slightly different tone from what I’ve been writing these last couple months. The reason for that is this:

There’s some things you need to be told before you start MU*ing that aren’t going to be covered in news files or bbposts (more on these in a future column). Things a lot of ‘veteran’ MU*ers wish newbies knew from the get-go. Most MU*ers end up having to figure out for themselves, but you’re going to get them now, before you start, in the hopes that this will help make things more enjoyable for you and for your fellow players.

Now, some of these things are going to be bitter pills to swallow, but like most things that taste bad, they’re good for you and, at least in my opinion, they’re things you need to hear.

1. You have no rights on a MU* beyond what staff lets you have:

MU*s are not democracies. At their best, they are benevolent dictatorships, where the leadership will listen to the people and adapt to the needs of the playerbase. At their worst, they’re ego-stroking tyrannies that hemorrhage players and staff. Think of the table top games you’ve played in, MU* staff and administrators aren’t much different from your local GM. Some are honorable, good folks who do their best to give you a damned entertaining good time and some are obnoxious psycho hosebeasts who epitomize the reason why most RPG books carry disclaimers about the boundary between fantasy and reality.

But, regardless of the temperament of the staff, the thing to keep in mind is that you have no rights while you’re logged on to a game. If a staffer decides to remove a post you make, don’t sit and scream about how you’re being censored because, technically speaking, you’re not. The First Amendment that Americans have come to know, love and occasionally hide behind, does not apply to private institutions like MU*s. It exists to protect Americans from their government telling them what they can and cannot say, write or publish. It does not exist to keep Staffer Joe from telling you not to swear like a sailor in heat on the public channel.

Now, this isn’t to say you should prepare for your time on-line the way you’d prepare to sneak into East Germany. Most game staffers aren’t out to squash your good time. Far from it, most of them want you to have as much fun as you can on the game so long as you stay within the rules and guidelines that they’ve set up.

2. No One Owes You A Good Time:

Burn this one into your brain. Scrawl it on the wall over your computer. Hell, make it your computer’s wallpaper if you have to but remember this: Nobody, not staff, not your fellow players, not nobody owes you a good time. Too many times I’ve logged on to games only to listen to people whine that there’s nothing to do, there’s no role-play to be had and it’s somebody else’s fault. Never mind that, generally, when these folks are told “Come on out, let’s RP!” they’ll come up with reasons why they couldn’t meet your character or why they can’t go out. Or, when they do show up for a scene, they expect the other players to give them something to do. This sort of attitude is rude. It is unfair to your fellow players and, generally speaking, it ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy as more and more people find reasons not to play with the Needy Guy.

2b. No One Owes You Anything Else Either, For That Matter:

Not sympathy, not a shoulder to cry on, not a moment of their time, not anything. Especially if you’re not willing to give the same considerations back in return. Your fellow players and your game’s staff are not there to dance attendance on you. If you have questions or concerns, ask politely. If you want to complain about your bad day, be ready to be ignored by some players. If you want to discuss, in detail, your appendectomy, don’t be surprised if your fellow players tell you to please shut UP already. Demanding attention is one of the fastest ways to make sure that you will be ignored. If you cannot treat total strangers with courtesy, chances are you shouldn’t be trying to MU*.

3. This is NOT a video game:

Or at least not the usual type of video game. Unlike games like Diablo or Grand Theft Auto or even Pokemon Gold, you are NOT the only player who matters in this game. You’re not the Hero. You are not guaranteed Script Immunity by your presence on the grid. Depending on the consent level of the game, your character may not survive their first encounter with the grid.

3b. Be a Good Loser:

This is especially the case on games that allow player versus player combat, though really it can apply to any situation where your character might conceivably not succeed at something. Chances are someone out there is going to be a better fighter/scholar/detective/politician/dragon rider/whathaveyou than you are. It may even be that everyone on the game is a better whathaveyou than you are. Your character’s ability to succeed should not be tied into your self-esteem. Granted, it’s understandable to be miffed if your character gets killed because of a bad roll on your part. It is not understandable to throw a temper tantrum for a week and a half because your character tried to tell the game’s biggest Bad Ass to piss off and got smacked down for it.

4. Real Life Comes First:

How This Applies to You: Do NOT spend all your time online. Take breaks. Get away from the computer for reasons other than food, sleep and work/school. Spend time doing things that are not related to RPing. Not only will it help you maintain that line between fantasy and reality, it will help fuel your role-playing by giving you real-life experiences upon which to build characters and situations.

How This Applies to Other Players: Understand that your fellow players also need to spend time away from the machine. Yes, it’s frustrating when your best RP bud disappears for a few days but understand that he or she also needs to recharge his or her mental batteries. Same goes for staff. Be patient with them, they’ll be back.

5. Be Patient:

Yes, I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Patience is a virtue, particularly on-line. Especially since Pulver’s Law of On-Line Gaming # 237 states that “The minute things get interesting is when one of the people essential to the plot/decision/meeting will be called away by crying children, a sudden thunderstorm or the Blue Screen of Death (or its Mac Equivalent),

Case in point: this column almost got to Shannon late because I not only waited until the last minute to start on it, but also because my Internet connection died unexpectedly the night I was going to send it in. Life mimics art!

5b. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket:

Or, to translate, don’t become overly dependent on one person or group of people for role-play because you will be out of luck if that person/those people go away for whatever reason. Don’t tie your character’s concept/background too closely to that of another player’s because you never know when they might unexpectedly leave the game, leaving you stuck without your role-play hook. Be ready, willing and able to make connections with other characters outside your immediate RP circle.

6. Trust, But Verify:

Remember, when you are logging on to a game, you’re playing with total strangers. You have no idea what the people on the other end of the screen are like. You don’t know their ages, their real genders, their first names. Anything. There are people I’ve been playing with for months who I wouldn’t know if they walked past me on the street. By and large, most people are honest about real life information. Generally, if someone tells you they’re a woman, they’re a woman. The stories about folks creating elaborate fake backgrounds and histories tend to make the news because they are the exception rather than the rule when it comes to life online but they do happen. And they happen often enough that it is wise to be wary. Especially when the details of a person’s story don’t add up.

7. Adapt or Die:

Learn to build flexibility into your characters and into yourself, because being flexible will allow you more chances for role-play. I’ve met too many people who complain about never being able to find role-play whose biggest problem seems to be they are unable or unwilling to adapt their character to new situations. Granted, in any game world there may be places where your character absolutely would not go and there are always things that characters would not do, but there’s a difference between being in character and being inflexible.

This applies to being able to adapt to the unforeseen as well. Remember Pulver’s Rule of Online Gaming #237: when you least expect it, folks will vanish. It’s very important that you be able to adjust your role-play if your character’s best friends vanish on him for a day, a week or even forever.

8. YOU ARE NOT YOUR CHARACTER:

I don’t care how closely you base your character off yourself, you are NOT your character. The only possible exception for this is if you’re logged onto a social setting where you’re sitting around chatting on an Out of Character or quasi-OOC basis with other players. Otherwise? You live in the real world, your character lives in the game world. Threats against your character are not threats against you as a person.

8b. Other people aren’t their characters either:

Okay, it’s easy to remember that the guy who plays the elf warrior isn’t running around with pointy ears in real life. I’ve never had anyone assume I was a robot because I played a Transformer. But it can be harder for folks to remember that in character personality and/or beliefs do not necessarily reflect a person’s out of character personality or beliefs. Just because someone plays a kitten-eating monster of glorious evil as a character does not mean this person sits down to Tabby Vindaloo when they’re not on the game. Just because someone’s character is thicker than a whale omelet, this doesn’t mean they’re an ignoramus out of character. The guy who plays the white supremacist skinhead just might be black in real life. Too often, even experienced players will make the (understandable) mistake of thinking that a person’s character’s personality reflects the player’s real-life personality. Sometimes, there is a correlation, but that doesn’t mean you can assume that it is always going to be true.

9. Spelling Counts:

So does grammar. No, no one seriously expects you to play with a dictionary on one side and a copy of Strunk and White on the other, but paying attention to your spelling and grammar goes a long way toward making a good impression on your fellow players. So does avoiding “L33t Sp33k.” As has been said many times and many ways, these are text-based games and because of this, it’s vitally important that people be able to understand what, exactly, you’re saying. Or, to think of it another way, some folks liken MU*s to cooperative storytelling. How long would you want to read a story where the author wrote like this: Darth Vader says, “You lamers better watch out cuz iam the D4rk L0rd of tH3 $i7h!”

Note: If you have a learning disability or speak English as a second language, or just aren’t a good speller, don’t try to use that as an excuse not to make an effort to spell/write well. There are a lot of gamers who do have learning disabilities, speak English as a second (or third, or even fourth) language or who just aren’t good spellers (yours truly) who do make an effort. And a lot of them rather resent folks who try to use their difficulties as an excuse not to try.

10. It’s Just A Game:

When it’s all over and done with, MU*ing is just a game. This can be the hardest thing to remember, since it is very easy to get extremely cheesed off at people for their in character and out of character actions. But it’s something all gamers need to keep in mind. It’s just a game, it’s not worth dwelling on. Do your best to put the bad times behind you, at least until you find a group of fellow MU*ers to share old ‘war stories’ with.

Next Month, we’ll be taking a look at finding your way around on your first MU*. Hope to see you guys then.

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